I Know I Shouldn't Have...
by Moon Fever
Summary: PoV of Remus, another little ficlet dealing with Sirius and Remus, with some reminiscing and hurting memories. Definately slash, Remus can't control his inner feelings anymore. A short thoughtful piece but it can considered cute too


Disclaimer: I don't own them and they don't own me.

Author's Notes: I hope you enjoy this, I tend to write a lot of stories from the PoV of Remus. If you'd did like this please review! I'll love you forever and ever...

I know I shouldn't have, but he was so deliciously appealing tonight. After our dinner of humble mince and pumpkin soup we settled down, reminiscing about our school days around the fire. I sat on the ragged Persian rug while he lain on the shabby couch, sleep playing on his beautiful eyes. Gradually we discussed the instructions Dumbledore gave us about dealing with Voldemort and that was when he fell asleep, leaving me feeling utterly lonely. Maybe it was the heat of the night, or the comfort of having Sirius in my presence again, but what possessed me to such a thing, I'll never know. His hair was ruffled and untidied, sticking up at odd angles as his head laid propped on an old scarlet cushion. I always loved how his hair smelt, I remembered how it smelt at school.

How the scent would waft all the way from the next bed to my nose and some nights I would lie blissfully awake, letting the spicy merge of sweat and shampoo drift to me. I didn't know if Sirius was as tasty as he smelt, but I wasn't one to ask. As he slept on, his breath rugged, heavy and wonderfully deep. Stirring in me a sensation I've longed forgotten. A sensation that was last prominent in our school years. 

In my hazy mind I thought of all the lost chances, the chances where I could have said something of how I felt. Nothing could substitute what I felt for Sirius in those days. The infatuation had no basis though, for it was only silly little Remus, lusting after handsome, popular Sirius. Those of course, weren't the words of myself. They were uttered from the lips of James, during an argument we had, I had the feeling he was bitter at me for spending so much more time with Sirius then Sirius had spent with him. I remembered those cruel, cutting words etching into my mind as I stammered while James turned cold shouldered and sauntered away. Maybe it was that spat that made him think I was the traitor. I'm sure it wasn't just because I was a werewolf.

Friendship ran deeper then that and even though I was a werewolf, I was trusted. That's what James said, and it hurt even more when James announced Sirius as best man. I'd only gotten the invitation to the wedding when Peter reminded James he'd forgotten to issue me one. Or so was his story as James hastily scrawled a note stating the date and time. Sirius was always my closest friend but it seemed that James and I were the ones vying for his attention all the time and in the end James won. 

Thank god Harry's personality were more like his mothers, or else I would have been rather bitter. I always had a soft spot for Harry, but Sirius left in me an empty void. Sirius was sighing so deeply, so wonderfully sexy tonight and as the memories washed over my placid and tired body. I didn't know what got into me, I was the voice of reason in our friends. And now, my own voice of reason had dissipated, leaving way for an utter sense of bewilderment. I crawled inch by inch past my tattered rug, the heat of the fire causing me to perspiring ever so lightly. 

My hair started to stick to my forehead as I watched him breath, so innocently and beautifully. I lifted my hand, it wavered slightly before laying to rest by the crook of his neck. His neck felt like the skin of a ripe peach and absent mindedly I started stroking the skin. Tasting the feel of it through the tips of my fingers, his reddish lips were moving slightly, as if muttering a spell. He'd enchanted my heart tonight, there was no denying it. And before I could contemplate, why and how...I felt my head fall close to his, his mellow breath brushing onto my face as his scented hair aroused my senses.

Gently, I laid my lips onto his own and started moving them rhythmatically, savouring the delightful taste that lingered on his parted mouth. I was kissing him. Shy old Remus, kissing handsome Sirius. How strange. But stranger still when I opened my eyes to see Sirius staring back at me, sleep still stalling in those periwinkle eyes. And for the first time I noticed he was kissing back, easing his tongue into the crevice of my mouth. When we finally pulled back he looked up at me with a mysterious smile...as if he knew something I didn't know all along. My face was most likely furious red as he murmured reassuring words that were in every respect, so deeply erotic.

His voice low and rumbling, I always loved his voice. The most masculine voice you could find and to hear him speak alone to me in a way I only thought possible in my dreams was exceptionally delightful. Savouring it, I thought how in my head How I shouldn't have. But how can I betray my feelings when Sirius felt the same?


End file.
